Instead of hitting my fav bistro at the university for a beer, that I can't afford, here I am blogging.
I don't have any motivation to stay here today. I'm trying to think of anything... All my usual motives that keep me here, at UQAM, since 2008. None of them are working.
I'm thinking it's maybe because my Mondays are so much intense of theory. I have 3 classes like most of you know which means :
- 9:30 to 12:30 = Psychopathology. It's the study pathological studies of psychological health issues. It's really technical and quite medical.
- 14:00 to 17:00 = Étude de programme. Basically, I'm studying sexological programs that are already out there so I can have a better understanding of how to build one. The first half of the class of theory and the second are interactions. The teacher is frightening unhealthy looking... poor woman.
- 18:00 to 21:00 = Teenager to Young adult development. That's my killer. This was suppose to be a class taken in my first year which I never did. The teacher wants me to kill myself so I skip class halfway through. A lot of the stuff from this class I already know from my psych classes from Concordia.
Can you understand my lack of motivation to keep staying here? In some way? I try to give myself some incentive to stay the longest possible here; like having a beer at the end of the day, but it doesn't seem to do the trick.
I really do feel like quitting, drop out and just work full time but good thing I'm stubborn. I guess... Maybe I feel like this because of my lack of alcohol... who knows. I don't. Maybe I feel like because the obligation to be here, the "mandatory" part of it turns me off. I tasted working full time the majority of last year and I liked the money income. Waitressing is fun and I like it... but I play those stories in my head of people who told me about how they didn't continue their studies, their degrees, and wished they could go back.
Maybe I just have a case of the Monday blues....
I completly understand where you're getting this blues thing... I was there all last semester and I can easily identify to your state of mind.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all it's winter, it's cold and it's grey. January and February are the most depressing months of the year for most poeple. You have to get through it, find something else to do in between. Try to do something outside even if it's cold or express yourself creatively.
My best advice: Working school, working work, sleep and all over again is not a heathy way to go.... Even if it represent less money in the end your brain needs to breath in order to be sane.
In time your drive to get your BACC done will come back. You simply need to find the reasons yourself for yourself. Relying on others, smoking, drinking and all are like placebos in my humble opinion.
I hope it helps a tiny bit
I love you sweetheart :)