No classes today, student body at the University is on strike. I purposely woke up at 7 am instead of 4:30-5 am. Wow! I slept in. Going with the definition of "sleeping in", that's what it was. For the last few weeks, we (Justin and Me) are still getting used to this new schedule because Justin started FSL (French Second Language), in Greenfield Park.
Soooooooo, sitting in front of my computer now. Finished some breakfast, typing slowly through this blog, still sipping on my coffee and watching ANTM. Yeah! I like to look at that show : tease me.
I haven't been inspired to write this last month. I didn't get that *ding* in my head of : "That would be an idea to blog about!" I am basically blogging on this last day just to have something for March. I have no theme, no question and no insight... Fuck this...
Dear Diary;
March sucks and thank the Gods it's gone tomorrow. I've been so stress : my HEALTH isn't that good. Eczema is out, I have the crink-crank in my deltoïd area and eating late at night. Sleep pattern is all screwed up because of my life partner's new schedule. I seriously need new glasses. In psy200 at Concordia, we're finally in the Mental Disorders : I can identify to everyone of them during this period.
WORK has been awful this month. I have to admit I took a week off and it did me a lot of good physically, but my wallet is so sick right now. Yeah for student loans! My rent gets payed. How am I going to pay May's one? This is my last student loan payment for this semester. I'm going to be as busy in April... maybe more. I'm so stern in my main occupation ( I call it my main because it's usually the principal source of revenue) because I care for my health and others. That's my first concern! Just blows my mind how people are uneducated on matters. I'm not suffering from a OCD, I'm just conscientious. Plus others are always doing more for less - I found it frightening as it lowers the value of the business. I notice through the years : the cost of living goes up but the field prices haven't really raised. The only thing that rose is more people are wiling to do it for cheaper. I thought for a while it was because I was getting older, but that's not it. I concluded that I need to change my advertising and exposure, I need to INNOVATE. Most important of all, I need to find something else! I just don't see the usefulness of it anymore. Yeah! That's right : the usefulness. I would of never thought it would come down to that element.
UNIVERSITY is hanging on a thread in my mind. I'm not quitting, I just don't know where to go. This semester has all been about being divided in 2 : between 2 universities (Concordia and UQAM); and between 2 programs (among Linguistics, Psychology and Sexology). My grades for the mid-semester are great. Personally I don't consider them good at all. My average is C. Really a C 'cuz all my grades are either C-, C or C+ Yuck! I like my B's and I miss them. Justin said something a few weeks ago and he's right. My drive this semester isn't the same as the previous ones. I'm trying to pick it up a notch since then. I've been sacrificing my week-ends which gives me some breathing room during the week days. I've been reading so much this month that there's is a remarkable increase in my reading speed. I go through the pages faster, I retain more info and analysis are easier. One good thing came out of my bad grades! More than one, I pull my drive's strenght from it too.
Concordia is almost over : 2 weeks to go (April 11th). That freaking class' final is about its book I've been studying since last September and 40 pages/solo project. 3 out of my 4 UQAM classes have final projects : 2-men 15 page-paper with oral presentation, 1-man 15 page-case study and a 3-men 50-page project. I feel overwhelmed and it suffocates me sometimes. I get neurotic at times! Bad luck for getting end tale class choices which will be the case again if I choose to pursue Sexology. I got my replies back from UQAM. I've been accepted in both programs I applied to. Admission-wise I'm considered a new student so my class choices can't be done before May 24th. Imagine! (I just want an easier schedule) Commuting like I am right now is killing me in so many aspects.
My RELATIONSHIP is stable. I haven't been analytical about it that much. I see Justin as a great source of support. He's a great partner in my life right now on all aspects : emotionally, physically and financially. He's ready to challenge if really needed. I have to mention "really needed" because most times, he goes with the saying : "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned". (Remember I wrote earlier : I get neurotic sometimes) I would say the only "ick" would be that I don't want him to forget himself in this relationship. I'm a firm believer that there's you, there's me and there's the relationship. Symbiotic micro-systems aren't my thing. Another thing I keep noticing about this partnership, I would always talk about sex. I would often rant about my sex life. I don't do that anymore. Makes me think about the French saying : "Grand parleur, petit faiseur" (Big talker, little doer) I'll just leave it at that [dot][dot][dot]
ANTM is done. I've switched to BSG 2005 during blog composition. If you read this whole blog, you drank from my poured heart. It's one way for me to take a drink with a friend, I guess. To all my good friends that I'm not keeping a "live" interaction with: know that I care for you (miss you) and this "Dear Diary" blog is a way of telling you how I'm doing. Onward to April! Less than a month before semester's end!
