"No more running in the mornings to grab buses and metro. No more eating lunches or on the go. No more anxiety attacks and get in the middle of the night to start typing what was brewing in my head. No more refusing sex because I'm too tired. No more swearing at the walls out of frustration. No more running in hallways. I can have my week-ends back. I can concentrate on taking care of myself again. I can have my social life back. I can work a steady schedule for a job."
Good thing I've been fast-walking this summer, I'll be able to catch the bus more easily and run in the hallways. I'm going to blow the dust off my lunch bag but I'll keep a better eye on what I'm pouring into myself. Thus, I'll be leaving the beer alone. I'll miss my week-ends and my social life and hello hectic work schedules. One part that I am nervous about is everything that concerns my brain... my mind... my sanity.
I was discussing anxiety issues during a brunch last week with my immediate family. I've been mentioning it here and there throughout the summer but more seriously last Saturday. I really think I have some sort of anxiety disorder. When I'm left to myself in stressful periods, my mind starts racing at light speed. Especially when I lay down to sleep it gets worst. Ideas and images just keeping racing each side of my head. Processes just keep going and emotions are all over the place. I have no control unless I really concentrate. I have to focus and it takes so much energy that I get tired and it starts all over again. Let's say there's a big courant of water coming towards you and to keep you from drowning you're holding a wall against it so it can't attain you. You hold that wall so strongly that after a while your arms start shaking. Your arms get tired from all the resistance forced against it so water starts sipping through the sides and sooner or later you lose your grasp. My concentration on my flow of thoughts are like my arms holding that wall. I have a few tricks up my sleeves to get some sleep but my brain never stops working during stress periods. For example, I'll go to bed around 10 pm and fall asleep around 11:30, only to wake up at 4:30 ready to write, create and produce. In those awakening types, I don't even need an adjusting period. In a couple of seconds, I get up from bed and go directly on my computer and start working.
One of my tricks is auto-hypnotising myself. I close my eyes and I mentally write the word "NOTHING" in caps, inside my eyelids. I usually fall asleep before I finished writing the word. In stress periods, its efficiency rate really goes to shits. Since I know the causes of my anxiety issues and the "how", the earlier discussions about this subject centre on solutions. I eat good and I exercise so I was thinking of taking yoga or to learn to meditate. I can't meditate. I've been interested in it for years, since my teenage years, but never really grasped it. I need a teacher. I have learned a lot by myself but with that subject I have no success. Other form of solution, I could consult a psychiatrist or psychologist and get little pills prescribed to me. Last not least, I could just buy marijuana! ( I rather smoke up then use pharmaceutical products.)
For the few that are thinking about it, fucking my brains out doesn't cut it either. I'll be having raging flames out my vajayjay by all the friction before I get to a normal relax state. After all these words, my question is:
What other ways can I use during the semester?
I was discussing anxiety issues during a brunch last week with my immediate family. I've been mentioning it here and there throughout the summer but more seriously last Saturday. I really think I have some sort of anxiety disorder. When I'm left to myself in stressful periods, my mind starts racing at light speed. Especially when I lay down to sleep it gets worst. Ideas and images just keeping racing each side of my head. Processes just keep going and emotions are all over the place. I have no control unless I really concentrate. I have to focus and it takes so much energy that I get tired and it starts all over again. Let's say there's a big courant of water coming towards you and to keep you from drowning you're holding a wall against it so it can't attain you. You hold that wall so strongly that after a while your arms start shaking. Your arms get tired from all the resistance forced against it so water starts sipping through the sides and sooner or later you lose your grasp. My concentration on my flow of thoughts are like my arms holding that wall. I have a few tricks up my sleeves to get some sleep but my brain never stops working during stress periods. For example, I'll go to bed around 10 pm and fall asleep around 11:30, only to wake up at 4:30 ready to write, create and produce. In those awakening types, I don't even need an adjusting period. In a couple of seconds, I get up from bed and go directly on my computer and start working.
One of my tricks is auto-hypnotising myself. I close my eyes and I mentally write the word "NOTHING" in caps, inside my eyelids. I usually fall asleep before I finished writing the word. In stress periods, its efficiency rate really goes to shits. Since I know the causes of my anxiety issues and the "how", the earlier discussions about this subject centre on solutions. I eat good and I exercise so I was thinking of taking yoga or to learn to meditate. I can't meditate. I've been interested in it for years, since my teenage years, but never really grasped it. I need a teacher. I have learned a lot by myself but with that subject I have no success. Other form of solution, I could consult a psychiatrist or psychologist and get little pills prescribed to me. Last not least, I could just buy marijuana! ( I rather smoke up then use pharmaceutical products.)
For the few that are thinking about it, fucking my brains out doesn't cut it either. I'll be having raging flames out my vajayjay by all the friction before I get to a normal relax state. After all these words, my question is:
What other ways can I use during the semester?
