Family Drama

I used to think that my family was closely knitted but my family is just small. The older everyone is getting, the more their flaws stick out. People that were reserved in their mid-age are just self-centered in the late adulthood. Kids that are now young adults don't realise how nasty they can be with a twist on their tongue. The family I'm relating to are the ones that live in the same province as me, which is why it's small. The few units that live far away, don't have to deal with these familial idioties.

My parents are divorce for more then 20 years. My father is so invested in his 20 years plus relationship with his girlfriend and her family, me and my sibling have no room in his life. Attempts were made again as late as last year but this time, we got to understand it as adults and not as teenagers longing for a fatherly presence in their lives. My relationship with him is one phone call once a month to indicate we're still alive. So there's definitely no drama on my paternal side. Evidently, my family drama is from my Mom's end.

It's been going on since my dawn over time. Seriously, my first implication I was 13 years-old. I still remember it today minus a couple of details. One thing I'm proud to say is I have never intently started any I was part of since 20 years. I speak my mind and I don't always know when to shut up. The first thing family drama thought me is: Be careful who you trust. In that process of learning, I got dragged in a few stories; having your words twisted; e-mails being printed to be seen by all; legal disputes; being disowned and then re-owned. You guys think that I'm original and unique, you should meet the women in my family, before me. My family has done things to me that friends haven't.

Now 34, I've learnt a few more things then just the trust issue: if you have to tell something to someone or it concerns someone tell them directly or arrange that they know it from you. That one has kept me out of harms way and the people from who the drama originated look like morons. My favorite lesson is: don't forgive but let go. I'm not vindictive, contrary to a contributor of my genetic pool, but I remember and letting go helps me from keeping any negative feelings. I wouldn't be surprise that this blog, if noticed by one of them, will get twisted around. Bring it! There's a beauty about getting older, I'm not afraid and I know life goes on. Younger, when something brewed about me I took it personally and I went on a mission to clarify my name but it's not worth it. I'm realizing more and more that my family doesn't know me at all. I'm open about my life but they just retain what they want. Isn't that the tragedy of all types of communication... anyways.

1-Careful who you trust. 2-Don't use intermediaries. 3-Don't forgive but let go. I'm sure one would think: Move away! The answer is: NO. It doesn't make it disappear, it tones it down. If moving away becomes an option, I'll be moving a few neighboring provinces away. In the meanwhile, I just try to keep away from it, stand clear and be very cautious. By being absent, it just works for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family. I have to admit I'm portraying them being devilish but who's family isn't in a way. If you're one who feels like telling me: My mom is my best friend! Well good for you and I don't give a shit, it's my family here and not about your badly fulfill Oedipus complex.... but then again, think about who's typing this :)

Thanks for reading and thanks for being just... there. Love.